random random

sometimes, i feel like i'm meant to be a lone soul, long before this i already had this feeling, i dunno why makes me think so, i know it's very irresponsible to say something like that now as i have families, i have friends..

i know my families care bout me very much, n i'm always trying not to let them worry bout me, but it seems like there's always something to let them worry bout me, dad worry bout my knee, mom worry i no gf, bro n sis worry i'm addicted to alcohol..

i never wanted to make them worry, but whenever i got nth to report to them, i can feel that there are wondering " how come ah hong never complain or never have troubles one" n this definitely will make them more worry.. ok i know u might respond me with " u think too much"

that's why i'm trying to be normal, find sth to complain to them to let them know their ah hong is a normal person, will face problems as well as avoid the problems. but i'm so reluctant to share with them my problems u know? i just feel like " my prob, i shall face it myself"

as for friend, i know i have a lot of wonderful friends that are very concern bout me..but sometimes, i just don't feel like talking, i don't like to share anything negative bout me with them too..but i'm very happy if they willing to share with me especially when i know i can help to make things better off..

for example, my U friends know very little about me,especially in the r'ship's part..i just don feel like sharing with them my past haha..i rather they tease me with any words they can, i dun mind,i just don feel like defend or explain or clarify anything..

n this feeling is getting stronger in me now, yes mayb i'll feel better when i talk to someone when i'm so down n i hav to admit when i was so depressed, frens were there to help me get rid of the toughest time. but still.....

i'm kinda weird huh ?